Monday, 2 March 2015

Looking for Sesame Street

Seen at Tesco, Malaysia.

Germans known for their long sausages.

Looking for Sesame Street

"My eye! My eye!" said the fraulein in some distress, still kneeling.

Bernhard, half undressed, recoiled. "Mein fraulein! You ok?"

"Next time, warn me can?" said the fraulein, rubbing gently her sore eye, not aware that fake eyelashes had gone missing. When her vision returned, a one-eyed monster stared back at her.

It didn't look the same as before.

It was wearing her missing eyelashes reminding her of a sock puppet from Sesame Street.
The image cracked her up.

"Haha!" the fraulein laughed, if not a bit too hard.

Bernhard, already insecure, recoiled some more, making the sock puppet droop in low self-esteem.

"Nein, nein," said the fraulein. "T'is not your fault!It's just too funny!"

Now, Bernhard had been called many a funny name before: Chinese sausage, bratwurst, pickles, Taiwan xiang chang...even goreng pisang; but none laughed at him the way this fraulein did.

"You think it funny, Freda?" said Bernhard, almost in a hurt whisper.

"Ha...Oh, no, I... don't..." said Freda, as she tried to reengage B. She had known B for a while and knew him as a not-so-quick puppet master. And it's been a while since she had enjoyed 'Sesame Street'.

But B had fallen back into his funk and decided to keep his puppet for another day. When F saw this she became somewhat desperate. Suddenly she heard the Count laughing at her: "Five! Five dates with no success. Bwahahaha!" Thunder and organ music blared out from nowhere.

"Give me another chance, B'hard," pleaded Freda. "You are B'hard, my Big B. So don't just go away ok?"

Bernhard was pleased to hear Freda call him B'hard. Somehow it boosted his confidence and the socket puppet slowly came back to life.

"Er, let's just remove the eye lashes," said Freda, as she plucked the sock puppet naked. The one-eyed monster now looked as dashing as Kojak, that bald detective who could be father to Vin Diesel but is not. Freda was not one to make love with dolled-up pretty boys; she liked them unsocked and fabulous like Chinese sausage on white rice.

As Bernhard and Freda explored the intimate machinations of alternate Sesame Street puppetry, the Count could be heard counting in the background. "One, two, three...." And for the first time in a long while, Freda heard organ music and angels sing in her head. When B'hard is good, he is really very good.

The end.

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