Fridge Magnet Wisdom

This in response to the parliamentary session on 38 Oxley Road Saga that has just started. Good idea? ;-)

Father's (Sad) Day 2017

A response to a bombshell of a sibling quarrel over the weekend (Sunday being Father's Day). A coup by a brother, if you like, while the other sibling is out of the country. And a complicit sister.

Some associated links on the matter:

1. Mothership.Sg:

http://mothership.sg/tag/38-oxley-road/

2. ST journalist Chua Mooi Hoong:

http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/time-to-reflect-and-seek-the-common-good

3. Channel News Asia (statement by PM 19/June 2017)

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/pm-lee-apologises-to-singaporeans-over-dispute-with-siblings-to-8958868

4. Youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPD1EA-APdI

In a gist:

Basically, the late LKY's estate is divided equally amongst his three children. Initially it wasn't so neat a ratio. It was divided into 7 shares, with each sibling getting two with the remaining single share going to the daughter LWL. The rationale is that she is unmarried with no children and thus the extra share is for looking after her old age.

Now, apparently the last will of LKY has reverted back to the equal share idea (6 parts, 2 each) but with the provision that LWL could stay in the Oxley Road home as long as she wanted. Once she decides to move out, the place can be demolished as per LKY's often acknowledged  wish. LKY is more for remembrance on performance than on personality worship.

Now this demolition wish of LKY is not a firm thing. Apparently he has not included this wish in his previous wills except the first. That it found its way into the last will is what this argument is about.

LHL is curious why LHY's wife is involved in the drawing up of the will when the usual drafter is their cousin Kwa Kim Li. LHY denies his wife drafting the will but only acting as advisor and council. Kwa however denies writing the will. It appears she was only appending to the will what she was told by LHY's wife. Now, this issue itself is contentious. It means someone is lying.

LHY and LWL beef is why their brother is not respecting their father's wish to have the place demolished. Instead he has appointed a ministerial committee to look into how the place may be preserved. ("Place" or some kind of manifestation, this is not clear). It is understandable why LHL is doing this. LKY is a widely respected and honored politician in Singapore. Heck, he is THE founding father of modern Singapore... leading a team to turn a swampy port of call into a modern metropolis where everything works. Just ask the expats, ask the residents, ask Singaporeans. You may not love LKY, but you certainly have to respect him. He got things done, and he as a frugal man.

World leaders hold LKY in high esteem for his intellect and views on world affairs. I respect LKY for his love of the grassroots, the common folk. All he wanted was a place where a man could get an education, get married, have a home and a job. A safe place to do all that.

I've done some policy case-writing and learned a few things more than the average man regarding how Singapore is governed. And one thing I respect of LKY is him keeping his word. An example: when he cleared the hawkers off the street (for hygiene purposes) he built them hawker centers where they could sell their food/wares in a managed environment. And guess what, the HCs remained mostly in the same areas where the hawkers plied. Why you oddly see hawker centres in the Central Business District, a prime real estate area. The same applied to housing. Why you see HDB blocks again in the CBD or near-CBD. It is LKY's ability to manage people's expectation and life changes and growing the country at the same time that makes me respect him more. Certainly in a world where greedy leaders grab land, destroy people's homestead to build useless national projects or pocket money intended for economic projects, Singapore seems like heaven. And it is. As I've told folks often. You have a safe and un-intruded space to live, work and play, what else do you want?

Of course, Sg is not a place for political parties to flourish. None had done as good a job as the ruling party. (Truth be told, they weren't given a chance. You were either on the ruling party's manifesto or you are not. Then again, Communism was rife in the early history of Sg. And we know now how communist countries turned out.) So, whether you love LKY or hate LKY, you have to respect him. And perhaps wish there are more of him in the world today.

And for those of you who think Sg is homogeneous, think again. We have four races: Chinese, Malay, Indian and Others (eg. Eurasians). We are all educated in English and speak to one another thus. The Chinese each know their dialect but is tasked to learn Mandarin to speak to one another so no one dialect is deemed superior to the other. Growing up Singaporean is like a British kid going school to study in Russian and then speaking French at home. Who else in the world does that???

So you can understand if there is a lot of pain growing up in Singapore. But the 70s and 80s were economic "miracle times". High employment, good jobs, middle class growing, affordable housing, etc. And a country growing richer (GDP) by the year.

Yup, one thing I learned from the Singapore experience is that when a country is rich, it can do a lot for its people. Housing, good schools, amenities, etc. When you have a leader, make sure he knows his sums. And make sure he is incorruptible. Look at a neighbouring country. Enuf said, is what it is.  

The end.

Back From the Grave 1 - The TNP News

April 11 2015 cover page

'LKY' responds to recent issue on Watson stores selling vibrators.

To: Minister, Ministry of Birthpower

Dear sir,

I am writing from the grave as there is an issue that deeply moves me. Instead of making love to a proper man, women, I understand (from those Watson flyers folks burn to me during this current Qing Ming) are shedding their inhibitions over a battery operated stick. How can this be? It is highly wasteful and makes no economic sense.

Let me explain.

Already, our majority menfolk are working themselves to the bone, leaving precious little energy for whatever boning they are supposed to do, to ensure the survival of our species. What's the point of me having worked so hard, never finding time to even "baobao" my son Loon that he now laments that I was not touchy-feely enough?

I don't want our Singaporean men to be like me, lose that 'touchy-feely' instinct because of dedication to work or country.

And this mechanical device - a vibrator - will distance men even further from their womenfolk. What if these ladies find the device more satisfying, and then forever forgo intimacy with their significant other?

Already Swe Sey has confided in me that he often times shed tears because his wife has gone over to The Dark Side, that is, hiding herself in the storeroom doing the dastardly deed. 

Sir, I ask you, is this right? Should Swe Sey be asked to cry some more? Already he is such a sensitive sod. No. He needs peace of mind to function at the PMO.

Now, what shall we do?

Should we ban it outright as we did with the chewing gum? Is it as obnoxious as that? Will the women jam preloved vibrators in lift doors to stop them from closing? Will they hurl the sticks from HDB floors in moments of orgasmic abandonment? Will they litter park benches with it?

I think not.

Let's be practical and think how we can kill two birds with one stone, like in Operation Cold Store.

Let's call this Operation Turn-on.

What we can do is use this occasion to bring men and women together.

First, may I suggest we make it mandatory for Operationally Ready (ORD) men to carry a vibrator always. It will have a pager function set to vibration mode. Anytime their loved ones page them, they are allowed to respond like in Reservist Recall mode, report back immediately. 

Given the nature of the call, they have only 20-, 30-, and 40-minute windows to respond. As most women know, any interval after 40 mins is asking laundry in the sun not to dry up! We must encourage our men folk to respond as quickly as possible so their women remain in "the mood" and not decide to turn on the telly to catch the lastest K-drama. Or worse, retreat into the storeroom to rearrange stuff. We men know once they do that, any baby-making desire is as dead as dust on the floor. Or sucked out of life by the vacuum cleaner.

The vibration mode of the stick will serve as a kind of Palovian trigger to these men. Either they service their womenfolk quickly or stand to lose to a battery operated stick. How disgraceful is that? That cantretiregracefully Mahathir will laugh and say we Singaporeans "tak boleh" and offer to add Tongkat Ali to our water from Johor, Najib not withstanding.

Given time, our menfolk's reaction to the vibrator recall alert (VRA) will become reflexive. I am sure our womenfolk would love that! After that, I think our menfolk will be happier and more productive (after a 20-minute nap, that is). I have come to know satisfying a woman can be exhausting!

However, our womenfolk will be banned from buying such vibrators outright  for themselves. - Not even an electric toothbrush.

They will have to buy with their menfolk as Main Stick Owners or MSO (there's another acronym for you!) Their menfolk will guard it with their lives at all times, much like how they did with their M16 during NS. 

Once our menfolk respond with the paging stick, I believe their darlings will prefer the real thing. If not, the device can buy them time to "Majulah Singapura" or "marilah bersama-sama", haha. (See, I also have a sense of humor!)

And should such sticks spoil, they can bring to Singtel, Starhub, M1 or any 7-11 outlet to get it replaced. I am sure Watson will want to do their national-duty bit. And folks with Passion Card can get a further 10% discount. I like the 'passion' in the PA Card name. Check with Swe Sey (he is PA VP) how we can leverage upon this very suitable keyword in this Operation Turn-on. He might even have some idea on how to make it better.

Given our past bad PR from banning things, I'd advise that we do not ban this device outright. If we deploy it in this operational manner, I am sure every couple in Singapore will be very happy. Perhaps our Baby Bonuses will find renewed interest! 

To end, let me reiterate the seriousness of this situation: If our womenfolk find more pleasure in a vibrating stick, the future of Singapore will be at stake. Already, we have serious manpower problems in the service and maintenance trades. One day, we might not even have folks picking up used cardboard! 

And if our womenfolk should shun our men, who or what will they find solace in? Computer games? Work? Adult sex dolls? Other men? Oh my!

As usual, let's nip this problem in the bud so our menfolk can go back and nip theirs in the.... Never mind. Don't worry about me. I am happily reunited with my darling wife Chu. We are now finding time to do the things I had not given priority to. I urge our menfolk to do the same.

Note to Swe Sey: Please check the user demographics of this vibrating stick. If graduate women are using it more, we must act without delay. If majority are O-Level, then we place quota. Those with PSLE never mind; they are the ones got sense to get married and have kids! 

Yours truly,

Always thinking about Singapore, your mega-servant,

LKY

Note: All resemblances to actual persons or institutions are purely coincidental and fictitious. Do enjoy the humor for what it is. ;-)