Singapore Pledges

Note: These Singapore Pledges were created tongue-in-cheek before the run up to National Day on the 9th of August 2012.

1. Singapore Pledge for Foodies 2012

2. Singapore Pledge for Civil Servants 2012

3. Singapore Pledge for Govt Scholars 2012

‎4. Singapore Pledge for Sports Fans 2012

5. ‎Singapore Pledge for Govt Ministers 2012

6. Singapore Pledge for the Social Gambler 2012

7. Singapore Pledge for the Child-less 2012 

8. Singapore Pledge for School Children 2012

9. Singapore Pledge for Taxi Drivers 2012

10. Singapore Pledge for Maid Employers 2012

11. Singapore Pledge for Sg Sports Council 2012

12. Singapore Pledge for MOM 2012

1) Singapore Pledge for Foodies 2012

We the citizens of Singapore (burp!)

Pledge ourselves as one always-hungry people

Regardless of got hum/no hum; got chilli/no chilli

To order up a delicious storm

Based on what the old hawker uncle/aunty can dish up

So as to achieve lau nuah happiness, tummy-rubbing satisfaction, and

High BMI-index for our nation. (burp!)

2) Singapore Pledge for Civil Servants 2012 

We the civil servants of Singapore

Pledge ourselves as one well-behaved people

Regardless if the girl was young or 18

Slim, got big boobs or not

Based on shape, size or lies

So as not to be conned into thinking

it's congress for the nation

3) Singapore Pledge for Govt Scholars 2012

We the scholars of Singapore

Pledge ourselves as one anti-lewd lot

To stop touching or groping

kids of various age and nudity

Based on need to satisfy

Some paedophilic urge or fantasy

that again embarrass the nation

‎4) Singapore Pledge for Sports Fans 2012

We the sports fans of Singapore

Pledge ourselves as one united people

Regardless of EPL club or telecom operator

To not continue be held ransom to ridiculous rates

Based on forever expanding TV rights monies

So as to enjoy a simple football match without

Starving half the people of the nation

5) ‎Singapore Pledge for Govt Ministers 2012

We the ministers of Singapore

Pledge not to throw foreign talent in yr face

Regardless of GDP growth, quarterly earnings or our bonus

To build a more inclusive society

Based on the over-40s, over-50s, and over-60s

So as to overcome myopia, disdain, distrust and

ignorance of the non-elites in our nation

6) Singapore Pledge for the Social Gambler 2012

We the social gamblers of Singapore

Pledge to continue our support for Singapore Pools

Regardless of fixed income, food-price rise or inflation 

To continue to play 4-D, Toto or visit the casino

Based on feeling, accident car plate numbers

So as not to deny the Community Chest charities

the monies and their duty to our nation

7) Singapore Pledge for the Child-less 2012 

We the child-less of Singapore

Pledge to pull down our pants a little more

Regardless of project deadlines or aged in the room

To build up lust and sordid passion

Based on mutual stimulation

So as to achieve titillation, orgasm and

more babies for our nation

8) Singapore Pledge for School Children 2012

We the school children of Singapore

Pledge ourselves a tuition-free existence

Regardless of grades, kiasu parents or other kaypohs

To build a stress-free, memorable childhood

Based on marbles, spider-catching and kite-flying

So as to achieve a less exam-smart mindset and

a better street-smart mentality for our nation

9) Singapore Pledge for Taxi Drivers 2012

We the taxi-drivers of Singapore

Pledge ourselves as one less confusing lot

Regardless of peak hours, ERP, public holidays

To charge just one freaking fare

Based on destination, not surcharge bingeing

So as to achieve a pleasant, math-less and

cuss-less ride for all in the nation

10) Singapore Pledge for Maid Employers 2012 

We the maid employers of Singapore

Pledge to treat them as we would our daughters

Regardless of laziness, cluelessness and personal hygiene

To not make them clean windows, climb high places

Based on some anal need for clean windows

So people will not think us heartless, cruel and  

basically kiasi of a nation

11) Singapore Pledge for Sg Sports Council

We the lau-jiao of the SSC

Pledge ourselves to not use any more FTs

Regardless if our kids are getting fat, out-of-shape and iPad-totting

To build a sporting nation of incomparable records

Based on hot-dog eating, fishball swallowing and mass displays

So as to achieve pride as citizens, born and bred and

raised on recycled toilet waters of the nation

12) Singapore Pledge for MOM 2012

We the people at MOM Singapore

Pledge ourselves to celebrate our moms

Regardless of grad, A-level or O

To build a more mamographic society

Based on Manpower AND Womanpower

So as to achieve equality, parity and

sorority for our sistas across the nation

Forum Letter 1: Let Children Play

The full letter is here:

Dear Editor,

I welcome the Prime Minister's National Day Rally reminder that children be allowed to play and enjoy their childhood. We should rightly insulate our kids from the kind of "hot-housing" that happens in other industrialised cities like Japan and Korea that can only lead to more stress, student-suicides, bullying, and tension within the family.

Instead of spending our energies in getting kids prepped excessively for academic performance, we should instead use our time and resources to ensure that they develop in other areas. Character for one, group dynamics is another. Decency even, so that in future we remain a gracious, big-hearted and tolerant people as our Prime Minister so exhorted.

For instance, I like what the NTUC My First Skool is teaching our kindergarten kids now. It has something to do with the use of unkind words. What results are kids who understand that they can hurt others with careless speech. In a world dominated by new social media, I find this teaching to be extremely valuable. More than that, it plays a huge role in mitigating one potent act of bullying in school. I just hope primary schools reinforce this kind of training. A national consensus is indeed needed and the setting up of a stat-board is a necessary first step.

Besides unkind words, kids can also learn basic words in other languages. This will help cement our tradition of inter-racial harmony and interlocution. Manners can also be taught, like how kids should be refrained from using social media 24/7, to learn to make conversation, lest it becomes a lost art. We all see the signs of it happening in our teenagers but we are really not hapless in doing something about it. We can start with the next generation, our preschoolers. It's not a forgone conclusion. Pre-schools/primary schools can reinforce what we parents dearly want back - a time when conversations with our kids was itself an act of discovery and wonderment.

With more time to explore, parents can also transfer emphasis to develop their kid's blind spots. Every kid has one, whether it is their inability to do math, draw, speak in front of an audience, analyse, etc. Rather than willy-nilly follow The Joneses, parents can reaffirm, recalibrate and refresh how they are buying enrichment courses for their children. Course centres can then better participate in helping a child develop, not just push out content that's only geared towards academic excellence. It's more a mindset change than anything else. But an important one. And it is one that will truly help a child grow, improve, and excel.

TC Lai

Apple Vs Samsung - TVs and Cookers?

The external enabling function-buttons of the touch-screen smartphone is as simple as a TV or rice cooker. Is there any purpose in debating its 'copyrighted' design? And Samsung has actually built a better phone and smaller tablet: Lighter, speedier and with longer-lasting batts. It is good that judges elsewhere (outside of the US) recognise this. Call it the curse of the 'first-mover'? Hmm...

Ministry of Skyline Management (MSM)

Second new ministry announced. :-)

Ministry of National Duty

This was done in response to the Sg govt's announcement of three new ministries (and the revamp of incumbent ones) - 31 Jul 2012.

Time Magazine - Breastfeeding 5-yr-old

The cover of the May 21st 2012 issue of Time Magazine caused an uproar. Here is my take on it. Compare the  original and parodied ones (often with a Singaporean twist).

The Original:

The Parodies: